Virtual Surreality #31
December 2002
Still No Slogan

Holiday Safety Tips
The holidays are a joyous time for celebrating with friends and family. The following precautions can help you and your family (but not your neighbors) stay safe and secure. I am pleased to provide another in a series of safety tips and guidelines. (OK that I ripped that almost word for word from a mass e-mail from very large corporation to its employees who it must consider to be total morons. The tips have been tweeked by me to make the holidays more joyous).


Christmast Trees

Fires & Fireplaces



If you do your part, the holidays will be a safe and happy time for almost everyone.

From the Newspaper
This next one is a bit blue, which is not my usual style; I usually don't publish anything that I'd be embarrased to have my Mom read. I wasn't going to include it, but it tested good via IM and I figured out a way to make it prime time friendly. It was probably funnier with the cruder, original language. Mom, don't read this....

In the back of Parade, the mostly crappy magazine that comes with the Sunday newspaper, they do a profile on an actor or actress every week. The one from 10 November 2002 was about an actress who shall remain nameless (mostly because I forgot her name). It says that she was really broke when she came to LA and that she "survived on spunk" her first few years there. Man, how many winkies did she have to monica every day just to get enough to spunk to survive on? One has to figure that even an emasiated Calista Flockhart type would need at least a pint a day.

Talk about getting into show biz the hard way. Well if the acting gig doesn't work out, she can start a new diet fad.


I'm done.

- Scoats


Virtual Surreality is a mostly monthly zine published by Scoats. E-mail: scoats at greylodge dot com. (c) Scoats 2002. All rights reserved. Most wrongs unintentional. Reproduction permitted as long as it accompanied by this entire paragraph. If you do reprint something, please let me know.

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Last updated on 08 January 2003.
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