Virtual Surreality #32
May 2003
"Don't try to wake me; I'm not dreaming"

It's been a while since the last Virtual Surreality, but now it's back with a vengeance, vengeance and a slogan! And it's super-sized (that's 40 cents extra for the supersizing BTW; the slogan and vengeance are free).

Two Kinds of People
It's not rare to hear someone say right before making some pompous statement, "There are two kinds of people in this world..." Thinking about it they might be right. There ARE two kinds of people in this world, those who think there are two kinds of people in this world, and those who know better.

Suggested Patriot Defense for Her Appeal
Don't know if this made the national news. Recently around here, in Levittown PA, a woman was charged with binding her children and foster children with duct tape to keep them and their poop in their cage, er crib. Hey she was taking the federal government's advice and trying to keep them safe from terrorism.

Don't Try to Wake Me; I'm Not Dreaming
I am finding more and more often I have to take stock of my surroundings to make sure I am awake; which might mean my dreams are really boring. If I see a flying pig or the Anna Nicole Smith Show (a hottubbing pig? - that can't be a real show) or something like that, I can be pretty sure that I'm dreaming.

While at Jetro, a restaurant/deli supply store, looking for duct tape, I came across vending items on cards, suitable for display behind a cash register. No duct tape though, that foster mother must have stocked up.

One of prepackaged vending displays made me stop for 3 whole minutes doing a reality check before I was sure I was awake. There in front of me was the FAMILY CONDOM CENTER. I thought not having a family was the purpose of the product. Family Condom Center, fun for the whole family! The family that plays together... eeewwww!!!! It took me three whole minutes of no flying pigs or Anna Nicole Smith sightings to assure myself I was awake.

Wow, a quick google reveals I wasn't dreaming, (I cleaned up the link to just give you the image).


I'm done.

- Scoats


Virtual Surreality is a mostly monthly zine published by Scoats. E-mail: scoats at greylodge dot com. (c) Scoats 2003. All rights reserved. Most wrongs unintentional. Reproduction permitted as long as it accompanied by this entire paragraph. If you do reprint something, please let me know.

Get Virtual Surreality via e-mail; it's FREE.

Last updated June 2003.
This page administered by Scoats for Lucky Cat Systems.