I was cleaning off some old files and found this from March 1997. It’s dated, but it is unreleased and somewhat amusing. The rest is recent.

Bungle 2 Bungle 

As I was walking to the El, a bus passed by with an ad for Disney’s new movie Jungle 2 Jungle (with a title that clever, you know it’s going to be good). I had seen the previews for it as well as the previews for the dreadful French movie on which it was based. OK, not my cup of tea, but one size doesn’t fit all.

It was one of those "ohmygod am I really seeing this" moments. The ad on the side of the bus featured a naked Tim Allen clad only in a feathered headdress and a very long snake. I can’t imagine whom Disney thought the Freudian imagery of the ad would appeal to. Disney must of have reconsidered the ad, since I only saw it once.

Having seen the previews and read some reviews, one wonders:

• When Tim brings the kid from the Amazon to New York, why doesn’t he buy him some clothes?
• Does Disney ever make any movies with two parent families anymore? Or is that just too much of a fantasy even for Disney?
• Since the title is Jungle 2 Jungle, will the sequel be called Jungle 4 Jungle, Jungle 3 Jungle, or Jungle 2 Jungle 2?
• Did they think calling it Jungle 2 Jungle would confuse people into thinking it was an Artist-formerly-known-as-Prince-now-just-known-as-Annoying movie?
• Did Tim Allen have to restart his drug habit to get through the filming and marketing of Jungle 2 Jungle?

Car Washing

My sister and I are in agreement. Washing your car is annoying. The actual process of removing dirt and restoring luster isn't that bad; it's the interaction with neighbors. One cannot wash a car in the city without being asked "Hey want to wash mine too?" No I don't want to wash your's too. I barely want to wash mine. It's not possible to wash a car without being asked a variation of that question.

One of the things I love about living in a city is having neighbors. Not ones that you honk or wave to when you or they drive by but people you actually stop and talk to (without holding up traffic). I guess I should be honored that people consider me worthy of constantly asking this inane question, but the answer I want to give is never the answer I can give. Get some new material people. It wasn't funny the first time I heard it.

New Season

I was very surprised to like That 70s Show. It's funny, well written and is easy to tape since comes on right after The Simpsons. I expected to like Buddy Farro, a new show from Mark Frost (St. Elsewhere, Twin Peaks) and I did. It's a strange and seemingly effortless mix of Rat Pack sensibilities, mystery, humor, and Hollywood kitch. Good fun. The Secret Lives of Men is kind of strange, three NYC guys around 40 with semi-pathetic lives. It's a little clumsy in spots, but good television and is convenient for taping since it's on after Drew Carey. I don't know if Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place is still considered new, but I usually find it amusing.

Shows I didn't watch more than 5 minutes of were Jesse, Hold to Stomach (or is it Hold) and that British cartoon of the working stiff. I did watch the first and part of the second episode of Will and Grace which was enough for me. I watched all of Trinity, which comes on before Homicide, and it is terrible.

The Green Door is a mostly monthly zine published by Scoats. E-mail: scoats at greylodge dot com. (c) Scoats 1998. All rights reserved. Most wrongs unintentional. Reproduction permitted as long as it accompanied by this entire paragraph.

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